Why Does My Child Panic Before School but Seem Fine Once They’re There?
A Helpful Guide for Parents & Teachers (UK Edition)
💬
What’s Going On?
Some children cry, cling, or complain before school—but appear perfectly fine once they’ve settled in. This pattern is very common, and may relate to:
Separation anxiety
Transition difficulties
Neurodivergence (such as Autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing Differences)
Changes at home (e.g. a house move, new sibling, illness, stress)
➡️ This doesn’t mean your child is being difficult on purpose. It means they’re experiencing real emotional stress when transitioning from home to school.
🧠 Why the Panic, Then the Calm?
Transitions are tough: Mornings can be fast-paced and emotionally intense.
Home feels safe: Leaving a familiar place or person can be distressing.
School feels structured: Once at school, routines, friends, and activities help children settle.
Anxiety often peaks before the event: The worry is about what might happen—not what does.
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What Parents and Teachers Can Do—Together
✅ 1.
Create a Calm, Predictable Morning Routine
Use visual timetables or simple checklists
Keep the morning as calm and consistent as possible
✅ 2.
Offer a Warm, Reassuring Welcome at School
Greet the child by name with a calm tone
Offer a job or low-pressure activity on arrival
✅ 3.
Use Transitional Supports
Comfort object (small toy, family photo, worry stone)
Home-to-school “bridge” (e.g. a drawing or message from home)
Designated staff member or peer to greet the child
✅ 4.
Acknowledge Feelings and Build Resilience
Say:
“I know it’s hard to say goodbye, and I believe in you—you’ve done it before and you can do it again.”
Avoid:
✘ “There’s nothing to be upset about.”
✘ “Alright, you can stay at home.”
✅ 5.
Keep Communication Open
Use brief notes, chats or a communication diary
Share what’s working and any concerns
Be consistent between home and school
✅ 6.
Respect Neurodivergent Needs
Offer sensory tools (e.g. fiddle toys, ear defenders)
Provide a quiet space on arrival if needed
Use visual supports and reduce verbal demands during transitions
❤️ A Final Reassurance
If your child struggles before school but settles once there, it doesn’t mean they dislike school—or that you’ve done anything wrong. It simply means they are still developing emotional skills for handling change. With patience and support from adults who care, they can thrive.
📌 Need More Support?
Speak to your child’s class teacher, SENCo, or the school’s pastoral team. Working together really does make a difference.
